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Currently browsing thread: 4th Use of the Law Discovered Petersen Apr 25, 2008 04:17:56
4th Use of the Law Discovered
Petersen
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Apr 25, 2008 04:17:56 		Rev. Kieth Hurtus made a pilgrimage to Holy Louie. There he was let in on a secret by the heirs of CFW (no derby hats, no monocles, very tame). It turns out that Old Sideburns advocated 4 uses of the Law, not 3. The Law is a curb, mirror, rule . . . . (wait for it) . . . . shield!

Now this isn't just a shield in the sense of "I will hide under the Law and pretend I've kept it" Pharisee-style. Holy Louie students in khaki pants are too sophisticated for that. Rather they've discovered a Roman legionnaire-style, a "my shield is an offensive weapon for smashing and cutting." Sometimes to stay safe you have to get a little blood on your polo shirt and fanny pack. If you work it right you can even pretend that the other fellows blood qualifies you to be considered a martyr.

Anyhoo, it works thus: some poor bureaucrat is caught in a sin. What should he do? He is being accused. But there is more to the Law than that! And there is the Gospel. Don't forget the Gospel. That is our best excuse. After all bureaucrats only sin because they have such a passion for the lost. The ends doesn't justify the means. Of course not. Don't be silly. The ends excuse the means. So also the Missouri Synod could err. It is hypothetically possible. It just never, never, never has. Back to the shield. The crafty bureaucrat pulls out the Law as shield. He accuses his close-minded detractors of breaking the 8th commandment, or if he is particularly adept, he might artfully substitute Matthew 18 or even (and this is the most sophisticated of all) the 4th commandment. But those are for advanced users only. The principle is the same but it might require some explanation and an appeal to hurt feelings and internal pain is always the safest route. So the idea is simply to use the Law as a defense by offense. So if you find yourself having to answer awkward questions try this: say "Am not, you are," then pretend to hav had your feelings hurt. You say that you have been "offended." Don't get caught up in the Bible words here. It is mostly for effect. I know what you're thinking. When the Bible talks about offending someone it means that you have caused someone to sin so if you say that you have been offended you are actually admitting that you have sinned. But that is not what you mean. You don't mean you've done anything wrong. You just mean that you have been victimized by mean people. Jesus says we should be nice, so anyone who hurts your feelings is probably not a Christian and should be condemned. Get it? Brilliant. The 4th use, a shield against repentance.

BTW, this really was invented by current CSL students, to whom I tip my derby hat and bow while saying with a modest cockney, "Top of the day to you mate." I then return to the swan dive posture, right thumb over left.  

Comments...

  • Apr 28, 2008 10:13:48 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - Chris
    The only fanny packs I ever saw at Holy Louie were the ones the CTSFW basketball team used to carry around their panties.

    Sorry, just couldn't resist. :)
    • Apr 29, 2008 19:28:33 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - Pr. Lehmann
      All I have to say to that is that none of the FW profs cheer for SL when the FW/SL game is in FW. :-)
  • Apr 28, 2008 09:46:08 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - Josh Osbun
    Is this similar to the phrase, "There's the pot calling the kettle black"?
  • Apr 28, 2008 07:34:26 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - Ps. Andreae
    "You must trust us."

    Not meaning to suggest a 5th use, but into which category would this increasingly common demand made by higher officials to anyone questioning the propreity of certain decisions/actions they've made, fall into?
  • Apr 27, 2008 18:11:27 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - David
    Besides making false dichotomies between doctrine and practice the fourth use as shield defends deceptive reasons for public sin while promoting pseudopractical excuses. They say it's love and sympathy that drove synod officials to pray with pagans. It's really an attempt to change our view on corporate worship. They say its finances that drive the true proclamation of the Gospel from the air. Sure, it may be finances which they wish to misplace in the hands of happy-clappy emotionocrats.

    It's the fourth use, the shield, that excuses syncretism at supposedly Lutheran universities like Valpo in the name of publicly promoting least-common-denominatorial "unity".

  • Apr 25, 2008 22:26:21 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - Pr. Lehmann
    That Kieth Hurtus bloke is brilliant.
  • Apr 25, 2008 18:17:30 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - Pr. Messer
    This is, indeed, a brilliant tactic to employ against the theologically unaware. As ridiculous as it is, it does, in fact, work. The best defense, after all, is a good offense. And, while this "4th Use of the Law" has just recently been discovered, it has been alive and well within our "perfectly united" synod for some time now. Previously, it was known as the "Let him who has no sin cast the first stone" defense (or, rather, offense). It goes well with the "We're united in doctrine, but diverse in practice" mentality, which is even praised by some as "Blessed diversity." You just gotta love it - NOT!
  • Apr 25, 2008 11:47:56 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - Tim
    "So if you find yourself having to answer awkward questions try this: say "Am not, you are," then pretend to hav had your feelings hurt. You say that you have been "offended.""

    Oh, you noticed it too? I don't know how many times this particular ploy was advanced against me at Concordia, Portland.

    Tim
  • Apr 25, 2008 06:35:55 Re: 4th Use of the Law Discovered - Pr. Recht
    Old News

    Everybody knows from the book "The Luther Code" that in the hymn "A Mighty Fortres is Our God." That in the first verse "God" has the same amount of letters as "Law" and of course that is our shield as you said.

    Accordingly weapon has the same amount of letters as Ablaze. You may draw your own conclusion...

    And, of course, "old evil foe" has ten letters, and we may ask whose name also has ten letters.

    And if they weigh the same as a duck....
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